31st July 2019

I was reading my notes, an iphone app which most of you are fond of, and i stumbled upon a note I typed out months ago...

For you:

I'm sorry, I'm unable to show my feelings. I've decided to shut down myself because I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want you to see me in pain because I know, it's tiring to see me like that. I would love to tell you how I feel, I would love to be true to you, but I can't. I hope you understand that it's for the better. I hope you understand that I'm doing this so I could lessen the problems in your life. I hope you could understand that I'm doing this so I could be in good terms with you. I hope you could understand that I'm doing this so that I can see you smile.

I may tell you that I don't care, I don't bother, it doesn't affect me and all. But deep down, I do and it does. I care a lot about your well-being, your safety and everything about you. Sometimes, when I see your laugh and your smile, it ultimately makes me happy. 

Currently, I've got so many problems and I've got lots of stuff to worry about. But despite all of this, I still manage to put a thought of you. I guess you matter to me a lot. Sometimes when I see you, I feel like hugging you, and telling you that I still do.

Maybe now it doesn't matter, and if we were meant to be, it'll be. I have no idea at all about what you think of me. But that's alright, I won't think so much about it. Some inch of my mind still hopes that I still have a place of myself somewhere in your life.

All in all, I hope that everything that's bothering you right now, I hope they will be fixed. I hope life will go well for you. I hope everything will be alright. I may not be the one for you, but that's okay. I'll still be here for you. 

I love you, so much. No matter where I'll be, even if we're millions of miles away, you'll always have a place in my heart.