Nicola

Nicola was sweet and funny

She said,

‘I’m into some hectic shit.’

She said,

‘Yeah I don’t mean to flex but I’m from Melbourne.’

She has bipolar. She said her parents brought her into hospital without telling her.

She said,

‘Yeah they were like just get on a plane to Sydney and then they drove me here. That’s why I only have thot clothes packed.’

She worked on a jigsaw puzzle every day of her admission.

I never saw much progress in the beginning, but after about a week she was getting better at it.

Mostly I would stay in my room and eat cheeseburgers.

Sometimes I would sit with the others working on the puzzle and play jazz.

She said she liked Getz/Gilberto and the Chet Baker songs.

She even somehow managed to get a fake tan while she was in hospital.

Like what the fuck?

I don’t know why I’m thinking about her now.

I’m just waiting for the train to get to my friend’s house, so I can try not to drink and try not to smoke.

And every time I plan on staying out late I have to take four boxes of medication with me in case I have to crash somewhere at night.

Can't miss a day of your meds!

One day I’ll be healthy and free and feel light and wear colourful clothing I found in vintage stores.

And I’ll quit smoking and do yoga twice a week and cook wild salmon with green beans.

My mistakes will be resolved and I won’t lie awake at night thinking I’m a fuck up.

Until then I guess it’s nice to sit on the train, and think about someone fun