Tantrums? How to handle your kids.

Letting your child grow with values and be someone who cannot be easily influenced by anything is the best gift you can give.

All of us, parents, are experiencing different challenges about our kids. One of the first things is when trying to discipline them. I wanted to be the best mother for my kids so I always put the time in reading solutions for everything that is happening to them. I also make sure that the things I read are made by professionals and gave results.
Reading from social media may give you the right answers but doesn’t really give you a deep understanding of any topic unless published from a professional site and gives details and answers your HOWs and WHYs. So let’s start to focus on tantrums.A lot of parents have different ways to deal with this and are even harder when living with relatives because they will try to impose their ways (old ways) to your kids but you have to be firm and do what is right and best for your children. You know them better than anyone else. I am not saying that you shouldn’t listen to anyone, just choose what is right. Always be open for wisdom from professionals. There’s a reason why each of us is good at something. Let them help us as we help others too, especially our kids.

There are a lot of reasons why kids develop tantrums. Try to understand where it is coming from, be patient, and first, here are some ideas to AVOID it:

1. Lessen stress. Let them rest when needed or let them have a nap, especially from 1 PM to 4 PM. Don’t make them hungry and overstimulation can lead to having tantrums.2. Identify how their tantrums start. Plan ahead. For example, if it makes them naughty when they don’t sleep in the afternoon then you should always let them sleep before going anywhere or doing anything. It will help you have less distraction too.3. Understand your child’s feelings. You’ll be able to know what your child will do when things happen. Talk about it first or try to distract your child. Change the topic, show them what they like, go to a different place, etc.4. Let them understand and know their emotions. Encourage your child to know the feeling and what caused it to happen. Then asked the other things could he have done about it.Between the age of 1 to 3, they really happen no matter how hard we try to avoid them. So here are ways to HANDLE them:

1. Be calm or pretend that you are. If you won’t, it will make things worse. Speak slowly if you want to speak with your child.2. Acknowledge how your child feels. “I know how much you worry that your toy might be lost if you let him borrow it…” Never say that what they like is not good or ugly just for the reason of not buying it. Tell him that you like it too and he will have to save for it first. If there is something similar at home then be nice and creative in telling him that they have the same purpose.3. Wait out the tantrum. Be there but never try to cop out, reason out or give alibis. It will be too late because, at this point, he doesn’t listen to explanations or at times, he doesn’t really understand it yet.4. Take charge if needed. If it happens when he wants something, don’t give him what he wants. For example, if he doesn’t want to sleep and wants to play even if it’s really late, tell him goodnight and you love him and just turn off the lights. It’s better than being angry or lifting him to where you want him to be.5. Be CONSISTENT and calm. If you sometimes give what he wants and sometimes not. It will just make everything worse.Don’t listen to know-it-all people. Spoiling them will just make things worse. Children are like men, they lose respect for anyone who gives them what they want. But always identify if it was built by habit or something that they just don’t know.
Changes will not happen that soon but just plan ahead. No one’s perfect and there are situations in our life that made them like that. Like being with parents or in-laws. All you can do is to focus and have the courage to impose what you know is right, never stop seeking for more, and keep your sense of humor.
Don’t mind all the people looking at you. They either don’t have children or they’ve forgotten what’s it like to have a small child or they’re just trying to be self-righteous.

Let’s talk more about discipline soon!