Anxiety

Anxiety ruins you. It turns a simple or non existent situation, into a catastrophe.  It rips you from sleep. To the point where it makes you sick, because you're so tired.  It creates problems  that aren't even there.  It's like having a little devil on your shoulder. All the time, whispering what could go wrong. And what a nuisance you are, And how awful you are. So you start to repeat all the bad things about yourself.  "Nobody wants you around" "You're so boring" "You're ugly" "Everyone is sick of you" "Your boyfriend is going to get tired of dealing with this" "You're a mess all the time, how could anyone love that?" "Their lives would be better if you just went far away" Should I go away?  It makes you angry over little things. It ruins your relationship because you're always worried about everything.  It makes you just want to be alone. To distance yourself. I haven't seen my friends in 4 weeks.  But wait, I forgot the panic attacks. I can't breath. My heart is going out of control. I'm sweating. I'm dizzy. My chest is so tight. It feels like an elephant is sitting on it.  All of this is going on in your head, But all people see is a polite smile.  Anxiety ruins you. And it's so damn tiring. To fight a battle inside your head,  Every Single Day.