I helped the guy I love cheat

We sure do crazy things when in love. We see and feel right in the wrong things. We also get selfish and greedy. We simply become stupid.

Is it bad of me if I say I felt no guilt towards his 6-year girlfriend when we did the deed? 

I was in ecstasy for he was mine, even if just for that short period of time. It was very selfish of me to think he'd have feelings for me growing just because something happened between the two of us. 

But everything I assumed proved me wrong when he acted as if nothing happened the very next day and every damn day when we see each other. 

I was shattered even until today. He called what we did our closure, but closure to what I ask? - I painfully don't know.

Next month, it'll be a year since that had happened and it still haunts me. For he is the only guy that my body felt pleasure and thus been have yearning solely him.

My mind was in cloud9 after our dirty little secret deed for a week before everything dawned on me - all the guilt and another round of heartbreak. 

I was and still am hurting, for when one time I asked couraged by the liquor as to why had it happened - he brushed me off but I persist to ask and he answered. An answer that broke my heart - "let us no longer talk about this for I have a girlfriend" with a stoic and serious face. 

It broke my heart to pieces and all I could ever do at that time as I cried my heart out, was to ask of him to promise me to make it up to her for all the wrong he'd done. 

And that was the start where we broke everything we had. And what we only had was our friendship.

We could no longer look in to each other's eyes, we could no longer talk and laugh like we used to and especially, we could no longer stop the growing distance between us. 

All I could ever do until now for him is, love and love 'til I can love no more.