What a disabled parent looks like through ignorant Eyes

Being a parent is stressful of course, because you’re surrounded by people who want to tell you how to be a parent- how you should feed them, positioning baby in a cot, why “breast is best” or the age that a child’s car seat should be turned around!

You’re fighting insomnia, crying, burping, dirty nappies, feeding all hours of the night.

Being a parent who has a physical disability can be double stressful, you’re fighting off people who say such things like, you shouldn’t reproduce, that you should’ve had an abortion, the poor child is going to end up a little slave or end up in child protective services and that the disabled mum is selfish for passing on her horrid genes.

Then there are people thinking that they are helping by taking on the parenting roll for you, even though you are quite capable of doing so yourself!

These are the issues I face on a daily basis, which can, at times, become quite frustrating to ignore horrific comments, as some comments are absolutely fucked up and even hypocritical.

I have to admit, I do have a problem with ignoring comments, but I know I should.

During my pregnancy I had a UK TV show follow me around documenting my pregnancy and my day to day life, the show is called Extraordinary Pregnancies which is aired on a Foxtel Channel called TLC across the world.

The TV show have their own Channel on YouTube which they preview all of the pregnant women they have followed, there were many other women from across the globe who were aired on the show- I take my hat off to all the others who shared their pregnancy with the world, because they were just amazing.

I know that by putting myself out there (especially on TV) I was going to get wanted and definitely unwanted attention, but for fuck sakes, I honestly didn’t know what sort of horrible was out there!

On the YouTube Channel of TLC, they had multiple previews of my story, but one in particular pricked my ears- when the narrator on the show says something like “Sheree Psaila is the size of a 6 year old“, by all means I’m not complaining about the TV Show or being ungrateful about be apart of it, but that wording they chose didn’t highlight me as a Mum who defied the odds, but that’s not my main concern.

What really makes me fucking angry (and I apologise for ranting, but I need to rant), is someone asking a question- “why would she do something like this”? Then try and answer their own question because they think they know me from a few minutes video- “She can’t even take care of the baby properly”.

Who are those people to fucking tell me I can’t?

It really makes me angry because they don’t fucking know me, but bring it upon themselves to tell me I can’t do something.

I have no issue in answering questions if someone is genuinely interested, but don’t ask a question if you think you already know it all.

The most ridiculous situation I encountered was when someone patronised me by asking me- “do you know what a mother does”?

My thought was, you’ve got to be joking?

This person was lecturing me and asking me questions, but they have two children with disabilities, they told me themselves in a comment.

I literally am not a judgemental person at all, I would never tell anyone to get rid of their child because they are disabled, and I’d never tell someone they shouldn’t do something because they are disabled.

I have struggled to refrain from replying to comments, but after replying to two different people, I haven’t bothered to read anymore comments and I’m proud that I’ve done that.

So, what I’m trying to say is, there are some people out there who will only see the disability and not the actual human being.

Disabled people shoulldn’t be deemed to just sit and rot, they should be treated like anyone else and given a chance at life.

Our son who is now nearly three, has not acquired my genes, I know this through genetic testing and my disability is quite visible, so it would be visibly obvious.