Bullying~ a memoir

Bullying is a major issues within schools and schools need to do more to help prevent it. 

I was six years old when I realised that when you put the letter t and h together it made a th sound. It was the age where I was taught that stealing is not okay. It was the age where I was taught that if I was not nice to those around me I would not get dessert. And I loved dessert. That the words that left my mouth although were stuttered, were just as important as my sisters as my mother's as my brothers. 

Most of us have been lucky enough to be brought up in homes where we have been told from a young age that we are special- that our flaws do not define us and that we can be whomever we desire. 

I was ten years old, when I realized for the first time that I was different to everyone else. It was the age where I realised that my life was not worth as much as those around me. That my stuttered words meant nothing. It is the age when I realized that the words that people speak to me can be as sharp as the barb wire that crawls around the fence enclosing me. That these words can pierce my skin and make its way through my bones and dig straight into my heart.

However, as we become older and begin to go to school, social pressure, as well as the desire to maintain friendships and even popularity can have a toll on a young person. Bullying can be defined as the use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something. Bullying is such a serious issue within schools, where according to a nationwide survey, over 50% of students have said that they have been bullied, with 15% of those students also saying that the bullying has made them afraid to attend school. Afraid to attend school. With these polls in mind- are schools really doing enough to prevent bullying? 

I was 13 years old when I realized that If I pretended that I had friends then my parents would leave me alone. It's when I realised that if I died that no one would care. It was the age when I began to see the scars on my heart made from the words that pierced my skin, made its way through my bones and dug straight into my heart. 

According to Dr. Margaret Gunter, the psychological damage that can be caused by bullying is tremendous- it can lead to many mental illnesses, such as, anxiety, depression, Post-traumatic stress disorder and eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa, as well as to thoughts of suicide. 

However, within our schooling it does not seem like a priority to make people aware of the repercussions of bullying, it does not seem like a priority to properly train teachers to detect or help students who are being bullied. It does not seem like a priority to make students know that they are not the only people feeling this way, being treated this way. They are not alone, you, you are not alone. 

I was 14 years old when I wished I would not wake up the next day. When I realised I would rather be dead than to have to deal with those sharp words attacking me everywhere I went. They were as sharp as the barb wire that crawls around the fence enclosing me. That my friends had left me because I didn't have the right clothes, because I tried too hard, because of my ugly, pathetic, I can't help it stutter. I was worth nothing. 

Are you aware that one of the major reasons why students stop attending school is due to the onset of mental illnesses caused by bullying? Are you aware that majority of people being bullied are afraid to speak up?

Shouldn’t schools be aiming to make it more comfortable for students to speak up about bullying? Shouldn’t schools be implementing programs where students learn to accept themselves and others for who they are? 

I was 15 years old when I woke up in a hospital. I had just overdosed and in this bed with the blurred heads of my poor family I realised that I don't want to die. It was the moment when I realised that I actually had worth, that the words that these people say to mean nothing. That my only sense of worth has to come from myself, i didn't need affirmation of those ugly hearted, word piercing people. It was the moment that I realised that I was loved. I was loved by my family and my friends and although I didn't have many, The ones I had were enough. 

It is time for us as a nation, us as a state, us as a school, to join together to make schools aware of the issues surrounding bullying. It is time for us to show schools that the implementation of programs to prevent bullying is a necessity- to show schools that the prevention of bullying is something so important and that funding for such programs should be considered. 

I was 18 years old when I realised that scars that were once in my heart from the words that pierced through my skin and made their way through my bones had not gone, but can now sit there without me noticing. That they had no control over my life, they were just there like oxygen in the air. It is the age where I realised that my stutter is okay. 

That I am okay. 

And regardless of whatever anyone has ever told you,

So are you